Almost positive that my director is gonna tell me to go to bed once he sees this. I apologize in advance for any confusing sentences as I am running on a slap-happy burst of energy.
Tonight was our final rehearsal of Godspell before we start our weekend run. It’s incredible how far we’ve come in the past two months. For those of you who don’t know, Godspell is basically Matthew 5-7, Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount. (Go give it a read, it’s good stuff.) When I first saw the cast list for this show I was over the moon. I was in this show when I was 13 and was on stage for about 25 minutes of the entire show, while this time around, I am on the stage for about 95% of the show. It’s such a huge transition from being in kid’s chorus to being one of the disciples; there was a lot more pressure because all of us have a bunch of lines that can sometimes fly right out of our heads when we need them the most. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt this blessed.
When the rehearsal process started, I began praying that God would open my eyes to something bigger. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was about three, and I’ve always grown up in a family that LOVES Him, so my faith sometimes feels mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, my faith is my own, but it often times felt so routine. It didn’t really hit me until last night (our Tuesday rehearsal) what was going through the hearts of the disciples while they were following Jesus 2,000 years ago.
My character (as most of my fellow cast mates would agree) is one of, if not the youngest disciple out of the nine of us. Now, imagine if you are a young child, and an extraordinary person comes who has all the answers that you’ve been looking for. He’s charismatic, he’s smart, and he’s zealous about his cause. You think that he’s the King that you’ve all been waiting for for many generations. If he hand picked you to follow him, it would be one of the most incredible things that had ever happened to you. But then, after a long time of following him, he is killed right in front of you: your King is dead. It’s confusing and heart-breaking and infuriating all at once. BUT THEN HE RISES FROM THE DEAD. Being a disciple is an emotionally roller coaster!
These feelings all really clicked for me completely tonight as we ran the show. I often try to be at Wes’s (the guy who plays Jesus) heels on stage, trying to soak in all the words he says. You know those little kids that always follow around that really cool big kid? Yeah, that’s me. It’s heart breaking when he “dies” in the second act of the show. Hearing my fellow cast mates scream and cry pulls at my heart, and I finally am starting to understand what the 11 guys who followed Him for 3 years felt like when their leader was brutally murdered. But oh man, when He rose again, they must have been jumping for days. I am so thankful that I am starting to be able to really empathize with one of the first followers of Christ, because in real life, I really am one. Anyone who is a believer in Him is a disciple, and as a disciple, we are called to proclaim His glory to the world.
I will forever be thankful that I got the opportunity to play this part. It’s been wonderful to act with some really awesome people. Big shout outs to my fellow disciples: Maggie, Hillary, Olivia, Regan, Ryan, Aaron, Caleb and Zach (Judas) and Wes (Jesus) who have been so much fun to work with. To the directing staff, thank you for leading us through the last few months and making us look great. To the parents, holy cow, you are rock stars and we could never do something like this without you. But most importantly, I want to thank God for opening my eyes to a deeper part of my faith in Jesus. The biggest goal of this show is not to always be in the front and in the spotlight; it’s to make people love Jesus more, and that goal as most definitely been achieved in me. My cup truly does run over with His many blessings. I hope that you’ll have the opportunity to come out and see it this weekend! You won’t regret it 🙂
Until next time,