The last few months, I’ve been thinking about some of the choices I’ve made and where they have brought me. A big choice I’ve been milling over is the fact that I stayed at community college for one more year after graduating with my AA instead of going off to a four year school. I chose to stay. I chose to do two more semesters of classes that would help me when I transfer and one more year of CYT, the theatre company I’ve been a part of since 2010. There have been times where I wonder where I would be at if I had left this Fall to start my BFA. If it would have been better for me to have left.
In complete transparency, the past few months have been very hard. There is grief that looms in my family because their are faces that aren’t around the table at holiday get togethers. There is the pressure of making the right choices about school. There is worry of losing friends.There is the battle of feeling like I’m not a good Christian. A part of me has wondered whether or not life would have been better if I had not taken this “grade-less year.”
And then I remember the great things that have happened these past few months.
Being cast in a dream role that one of my childhood CYT idols played
Walking around the mall with a blue face
Receiving a very special award that was voted on by my fellow cast members from a show that is very dear to my heart.
Getting to spend time with my “sister” who has been gone from KC
Seeing my best friend play basketball during her senior year
Late night laughing fits with some of my favorite people
Coffee runs before rehearsals
Leading a group of energetic and awesome sixth grade girls
Seeing a Broadway show tour (twice) in the front row and getting to hug a CYT alum who has the coolest job ever
Worshiping with precious voices
Taking photos in between shows with one of the most hilarious and beautiful people I know
Getting cast as a silly old lady who poisons old men
Steak and Shake with fellow cast members and awkward waiters after Black Box rehearsals
Encouraging a 14 year old to, “Get that tiara, because you’re a princess”
Doing spotlights with my brother
Being woken up at 6:47am to go get coffee at “Luke’s Diner”
Taking my dog on lots of car rides
Having “squad” nights with wonderful girls
Sitting on top of the kitchen table to get art homework done
Playing a large role in setting up four gallery showings at my school
Helping younger CYTer’s with music during Joe Show rehearsals
So many rounds of QuipLash
Having important conversations
Getting Starbucks in the morning before school/work with my dad
Watching the Gilmore Girl’s special all day with my mom
Binge watching Gravity Falls with my awesome family
And other countless adventures and memories with amazing people
Has life been perfect? No. Has there been hurt? Yes. But oh my goodness, how great is our God in the fact that He gives new beginnings every single day (and sometimes throughout the day as well). I have made mistakes. There are things I wish I could do over. But I am confident in the fact that God is in control. While there are times I move my eyes away from Him and I worry about what tomorrow holds, I am thankful that God has a tight hold of me and will never let me go. There are many paths with can take in life, and I’m glad I chose to take a detour.
Thank you to all who made 2016 brighter; cheers to 2017!
Until Next Time,