It’s been a year and a half, Blog. Sorry about that.
This isn’t gonna be a pretty post. It’s really more of a check point to motivate myself to get back into this habit I used to enjoy so much.
I’d like to say thank you. To my family, for never ever ceasing to support me. Even when I feel like I’m drowning and my brain is telling me no one cares, my Mom, Dad and brother Jeremy have never stopped loving me. They’re the best. To my friends, for loving me at my best and worst. Even when I’m frustrated and gloomy or hyper and obnoxious, I have people who I know will have my back through thick and thin. To my professors, for challenging me to be better. Even when I don’t think I can achieve something, I have been encouraged by my educators to think creatively and defy even my own expectations. To people who have hurt me, for making me stronger. Even when it sucks, I know it’s for the best. And to my God, for never letting me go. Even when I’m a thousand miles in the opposite direction and don’t desire an ounce of His love, He’s always there.
I’m a pretty open book. People can usually tell when something is off because a good chunk of the time, I have on a, “Wow, life is so miraculous, let’s make things awesome?” attitude. But literally NO ONE EVER could be like this 24/7. However, because of how my darn brain is working at the moment, I feel the need to be a ball of sunshine all the time for everyone else’s benefit. I don’t do a good job of taking care of my own needs and emotions; I’d rather listen to your problems than deal with my crap. That needs to change.
A lot of stuff happened in 2018. A heck of a lot of good, and a dumpster truck load of bad. I feel like I can say though, after a lot of warring with myself, that I finally have accepted that I need to take better care of myself. So, I’m getting help. It’s humbling and frustrating but also rewarding and calming.
One of the ways I hope to work on healing is picking up writing again. I’ve got some pals who I’ve asked to keep my accountable, so if anyone is still reading my pieces of the internet, Hi again. I hope I can spread some form of positivity, knowledge or insight as I work through some road bumps.
Know that you are never alone. You are loved. You are valuable. You are important.
Until Next Time,