I’m my own worst critic. There are times in my life where I struggle hardcore with how I feel others think of me. To be quite honest, it’s more common that I’m slightly paranoid about my relationships with people. Unfortunately, often times it is my own mind that makes situations exponentially worse than what they actually are. When you are filling your mind with self-induced negativity, you begin to believe that everyone else around you believes the same lies you are feeding yourself. These are some common phrases that can cross our minds, along with possible alternatives that could be used instead.
“I’m so stupid.” Replace this with -> “I’m doing the best I can with the knowledge I have at this point in my life.”
“I’m annoying; nobody wants to be around me.” Replace this with -> “I am unique and the people that matter love me.”
“I look so ugly today.” Replace this with -> “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even on my off days.”
“I suck at *insert something you love doing.*” Replace this with -> “I’m never gonna stop learning and improving.”
“I’ll never be as good as so-and-so at *insert a task that you want to excel at*.” Replace this with -> “I am not in competition with the people around me; life is about improving yourself and working with others.”
“I’m a failure.” Replace this with -> “I didn’t expect or want this situation to go this way, but it does not define me.”
“I’m not good enough.” Replace this with -> “I may not have all the skills I need now but I can get there.”
“I’m unlovable.” Replace this with -> “I am loved beyond my human understanding.”
“I don’t matter.” Replace this with -> “I am capable of making a huge impact in my world.”
“I wouldn’t be missed if I was gone.” Replace this with -> “I am connected to and loved by so many people that care about my well being.”
It is so easy to believe the lies we feed ourselves and allow them to affect our overall life experience. My challenge to you is to start catching yourself whenever you start to tear yourself down. As you work on building yourself up, you will find that building others up as well will come much easier to you. There’s a verse where Jesus talks about the two greatest commandments, which are loving God and loving others like ourselves. In order to love others fully, you need to love yourself as the wonderful creation God created you to be.
Full disclosure: I have been so hard on myself for as long as I can remember. I hold myself to impossible standards, and when I fail to meet those expectations, I beat myself up mercilessly. A handful of my professors are helping nail down the idea in my heart that I am loved, valued and capable, which means I can let up on myself. So do me a favor: join me in being kinder to yourself. I promise you, it’s gonna do wonders for your soul.
Until Next Time,