I still haven’t fully processed that this is the final year of my undergraduate program. Technically speaking, I’ve been working towards this degree since I was 15 years old, which is when I started my gen eds at my local community college. I spent three years completing my associates degree, a year taking art classes/trying to figure out where to transfer to, and will be beginning my third year at Missouri Western on August 26th, 2019. It’s so odd to think that in roughly eight months, I will be moving on to a new chapter of life.
Last time moving into a dorm
Last year of caf food
Last round of college auditions
Last year of working in the Potter scene shop
Last two semesters of foreign language classes (Praise the Lord)
Last eight months of having to walk almost a mile to most of my classes
Last few advising sessions with Jeff
Last time I will celebrate a birthday where there is a high chance I will be on a film set
Last year of using my faithful blue dorm room bed spread
Last year of sharing a bathroom with three other girls
Last round of finals during undergrad
I spent a few days working on this list. While there are many more things that will be a “last” this year, I have been having a hard time making the list much longer. It was frustrating, because I had the idea for this post about four weeks ago. I said to myself, “I’m gonna make a blog post to commemorate my senior year of undergrad by talking about all the lasts that are coming.” The more I worked to come up with a list though, the harder it got. I was wondering if I was struggling with writer’s block, but then I realized what the real problem was: I was being too negative.
You see, I was looking at this final year with the mindset of “Oh yeah, it sucks that I don’t have a ton of time left at this school.” Instead of being grateful for the fact that I am going into my senior year with strong relationships and expectations, I was focusing on how all of it will be over once May 2020 hits. When I realized what I was doing to myself, I took a step back to reevaluate how I was looking at this school year. I have made goals for myself in academics, work, and personal development, but my main goal for the 2019/2020 school year is to fully live in the moment. I don’t want to focus on how a good thing is coming to an end; I’d rather be enjoying the good thing while it is happening.
I challenge anyone who is getting ready to go through a time of transition to not focus on how things are coming to an end. I have found the more I focus on the inevitable end, the less I enjoy the journey. I’d like to think that I am a bit of an expert when it comes to planning, but there are times when plans become too rigid and stressful. Instead of making sure every single “last” is absolutely perfect, I am going to try and let myself be free to feel whatever emotions may come. So bring on the final year of shows, films, APO meetings, GFS projects and surprise adventures that will come my way. I am eager to see what Senior Year will bring.
Until Next Time,